Mountain To Glacier (Or, Pt 1)

It took a trillion blood vials, lookin through crooks like they're smiles
To find a sign that I was lost inside a integer's guile
While crooked were time-wasting shaping placeholders to break
I became a mountain bound to rebound and scrape down unto Earth until it starts
Quaking and shaking places freemason slated
For removal, replacement, change is apex affidavit
No need to trace your steps, your brother's there when Dad's upset
Sister moon sings lullabies to bleeding Mom, who's halfway dead
I'm wide awake and open most when doors are closed and time's for bed
Reminds of each scar and line I should've said, pains should've fed
The Feds goin want my autograph if any dreams are true

I drew a thousand thousand lines connecting what split us apart, both me and you
Made quite a team between the losing steam and shattered superego
All I ever wanted was to be your favorite superhero
Coal became the fuel and you'll be sorry when this flame's extinguished
Bet I'll blame you for exposing every bone burning out existence
Like I showed much resistance, how could I though?
Midnight palpitations, pools of tears and sweat, by all means take me slow
You watched a suicidal nosedive, took it as romantic
When I read your body language to a T you called pedantic
Guess I can't blame you for all the trouble, stress and imperfection
When there's no one left to blame I tend to begin second-guessing
Till it becomes first nature and my mindset's a reflection
Of my skin, a mixed blessing, natural tattoos and bruised neglections
Loose inflections infecting the things I had to throw away
Plans and dates and gifts, I'm tripping harder then when I fell that day
Hard to think it's over and it's been, I hardly want to stay
Part of me's the best when at my worst, I've come a long way
Normally I'd say we have but I can breathe alone
Not necessarily better but the pleasure is now mine to tome, now
I had so much more to give and take and share and break and customize
Guess I despise the lost potential in her starry eyes than what we found and realized
That I think I'll be fine
But I don't need to if you're in my heart forever, not a crime right?
I don't think that it's healthy
That you're still on my mind all morning, day and night
Please make it stop
Why
Me?

Drained so much of my meaning, feeling around for a demon
That wasn't there, even the hairs on end went panicking, screaming
Sealing dimensions worth of worth and burdens from borderlines
Crannies to oasis, time and spaceless now, but who am I?

I'm no one, everything, writer, musician, solar system
Bettering my listening skills so I can pull more souls to vision
Victimless polar opposite traction, mashing the passion to play-doh
Making more ways to mold myself into the image of Plato
But add the rest of the recipe, it's depression and tendencies
To sneeze away the medicines, diseases, leaves, and changing seasons, weaponry
Platinum chip in the head, that's the Odyssey
Not enough acid or interaction to unfuck psychology
This of mine, turpentine serpentine motions tracked across the sand
A Clementine for strength and drill to dig into my power's hand
Potential, kinetic, aesthetic energies all look the same
Under kilotons of frozen scraping, moving rain